


Violets Are Blue

by wakeupstiles



Series: Firefighter Raven, Paramedic Octavia [7]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Firefighters, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Firefighter Raven, Firefighters, Heartbreak, Major character death - Freeform, Paramedic Octavia, Tragedy, aftermath of a hospital bombing, inspired by that one chicago fire episode, paramedics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-05-29 17:01:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6384865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wakeupstiles/pseuds/wakeupstiles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were there to run a race—to raise money for cancer research. None of this was supposed to happen. It was supposed to be a peaceful day, a much needed time off. None of this was supposed to happen. <i>None of this was supposed to happen.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Violets Are Blue

**Author's Note:**

> As I stated in the tags, this takes place after a hospital bombing. While there won't be much detail about the bombing, I want you to be safe.
> 
> This is inspired by that one Chicago Fire episode where they're at the race hosted at the hospital and someone plants a bomb.
> 
> If there are any mistakes, I apologize. It's late and my eyes hurt, but I think I got most of them, if not all of them.

_It happened so fast._

_Everything happened so fast._

_So fast._

_It all just happened so damn fast._

One minute she was walking towards the hospital entrance to find her girlfriend, and the next minute she was lying on her stomach on the hard asphalt, head pounding, ears ringing. She opened her eyes, saw gray smoke all around. She sat up, slowly at first, careful to make sure that she hadn’t broken any bones, then all at once when she heard people screaming. She got to her feet, eyes wide and heart racing when she saw the tragedy in front of her: the front half of the hospital had been blow up—brick and cement crumbled all around them. Sparks flew from the open wires.

Bodies on the ground.

Bodies falling from the broken building.

People screaming.

Children crying.

Sirens in the background.

_Dead bodies. Dead bodies. Children. Elderly. Dead bodies._

Her eyes skimmed her surroundings, assessing the situation. She wanted to jump in and help, as a firefighter she had the natural instinct for it, but as it was, there was so much chaos and she didn’t know where to start. Her mind went blank and she had no idea what to do. She’d been on bombing calls before, way back when she first started at the House, but they were small and did minimal damage. This, though… _This._ Took out multiple floors of Arkadia Memorial like it was nothing and she didn’t know where the hell to start.

“Raven! Raven!” She turned to see her friend and co-worker, Murphy running up to her, panic and fear etched all over his features and deep in his dark eyes. “Are you okay?” He grabbed her arms, inspecting her all over.

She nodded furiously, eyes wide and mouth slightly ajar. “Murphy, what the hell happened?” It was a thing you asked in horrible situations, even if you already knew the answer. Her mind was fried; she didn’t know how to process the world.

The man shook his head, looking past the woman to the crumbling building behind her. “Some bomb… Anya and the others are on the way. We need to be ready to gear up. Every firefighter, cop, and paramedic in the city is gonna be here soon.”

Raven looked back at him, then to the people on the ground around them, the people trying to limp away. “We need to help them while we wait.” She ran over to an elderly woman, carefully helped her up. Murphy copied her, helping two little girls a few feet away. She looked out to the courtyard where they’d been setting up refreshment tents earlier, nodded her head towards them. “We’ll use those as triage! Anyone who can walk, help those around you. Get everyone off the road and to the tent.”

 

* * *

 

 

The Truck appeared seconds later, coming through the smoke like some kind of savior. She and Murphy quickly got changed into their gear, waited with the others to get orders from their Chief. “Indra, you and Squad get take the ladders and get the top floors. Lincoln, you and Truck take the bottom levels and start digging through the rubble. The structure is unstable. Be careful.” Anya finished, eyeing each of them with that look she always gave during hectic and dangerous calls: _Come back alive. You die and I’ll kill you._

Indra nodded and began barking commands at the Squad members. Lincoln took Miller and Jasper and headed towards the rubble. Raven hung back, watching Monty get his paramedic gear laid out in the triage tent.

Octavia wasn’t with him.

Because Octavia was…

“She’s in the building. Octavia’s in the building.” Raven said frantically, the anxiety bubbling in her stomach, suddenly remembering why she’d been walking to the hospital in the first place.

“Octavia’s in there?” Murphy questioned, his face showing just as much concern.

Raven nodded, kept her eyes on the hospital, darting them every which way in search for her missing girlfriend. She swallowed thickly. “She—she went into the hospital looking for the late registration for the race. I don’t—I don’t know where she went. She’s still inside. I have to—I have to find her.” Her voice cracked and her chest started clenching with dread.

“Reyes,” Anya grabbed her shoulders, turned her so that she was staring at the taller woman, who looked down at her with serious yet understanding eyes. “We’ll find her.” Her Chief assured confidently. The brunette nodded, blinked away her tears, looked on to the dying building.

_Octavia, where are you?_

She bit her lip, tried to stay positive, tried to keep those dark thoughts from her mind.

 

* * *

 

She wasn’t in the left side of the hospital when the bomb went off. She took a wrong turn and ended up in the pediatric wing. The ground shook, the walls cracked, the children began to cry, and then there was a loud boom and it felt as if the earth was caving in. She grabbed the nurse’s desk for stability. Then there was another boom, closer this time, and part of the ceiling started to shatter and fall through.

“Hey—kid—kid get back!” But the little girl was on crutches and she wouldn’t be fast enough, so Octavia dashed forward, pushed the child out of the way, and in doing so she landed right on top of a piece of debris. The metal went through her flesh, just below her ribcage. She grunted in pain, concealed her scream, yanked out the metal and pressed her hand to the relatively deep wound to keep the bleeding at bay.

She stood, making sure the little girl was okay first, then took a step and the ground began to shake again. “What the fuck is going on…” She muttered under her breath, then blacked out as the ceiling came down on her.

 

* * *

 

It’d been two hours and she still hadn’t found Octavia. They’d dug through countless piles of crushed cement, saved numerous people from the falling top floors, but no one had found the missing paramedic. No one even remembered seeing her enter the building.

Raven sat on the end of the fire truck, downing a bottle of water and shoving a nutrition bar down her throat. She tried to keep her racing thoughts muted, but she couldn’t think of anything else except Octavia. Finding her under the rubble. Being too late.

_Being too late._

“Shit!” She hissed, slamming her fist down on the truck in agitation. Tears spilled down her cheeks and she made no effort to wipe them away. The woman she loved was out there, somewhere in all the rubble and dirt, alone, hurt, wondering where the hell Raven was. Wondering why the hell she hadn’t found her yet. And there Raven was, taking a break, sitting down, trying to not completely lose herself.

She dumped the rest of the water on her head. Despite the cold temperature she was boiling. Mostly due to the severe anxiety coursing through her, as well as intense fear. “Hey,” A soft voice greeted, approaching beside her and putting a hand on her shoulder, giving it a light squeeze for support.

“Hey,” She croaked back, placing her hand on top of Monty’s.

“We’re gonna find her.” He assured, though there was little conviction in his voice. She couldn’t blame him; her confidence was wearing thin, too. But if anyone could survive something like this, it was Octavia. She wasn’t a firefighter, but she was strong and she could endure almost anything.

Raven gave a little nod. “Yeah.” She agreed softly, her voice breaking even more. They kept silent for a few minutes before she cleared her through and asked, “You on break?”

He nodded and sat down beside her. She passed him a bottle water and nutrition bar. “Echo and Emori took over. You seen Clarke?”

The woman shook her head, then nodded. “Briefly. She said the trauma section is still up and running so they’re trying to get the more dyer victims in.” Then they were silent again and she asked, even though she shouldn’t have, even though it didn’t help, “How many?”

Monty hesitated, then whispered, “Seventy-four.”

Raven sighed deeply out of her nose, closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. Seventy-four innocent lives lost so far. The numbers were climbing, no doubt. It took a special kind of evil to cause something like this, and she hoped there was a special place in hell for them.

_Then it happened so fast._

_It just happened so fast._

“Raven! Raven!” She shot her head up to see Gina running towards her, blood on her white doctor coat. The woman’s heart sank, eyes becoming saucers as she stood and ran towards her friend, Monty at her heels. “We found Octavia. She was under some rubble—she’s in surgery now.” The blonde pointed back towards the hospital and began running back inside with Raven followed after her. Monty went with them.

It felt like it took forever to get to the trauma waiting room. All the way there Raven could only think about what she was going to say when she saw her girlfriend. _I’m sorry, I love you, I’m so glad you’re okay. I love you. I love you. I love you._

The heavy cloud that had settled on her heart lightened as she got to the double doors that led back to the OR. She looked at Monty, who looked just as relieved. Murphy and the other members of the House were running towards the waiting room, too, eager to hear good news about their missing friend.

_So fast._

_It happened so fast._

_Just so damn fast._

But then Clarke came out of the OR, covered in blood, eyes red and swollen, hands shaking. Raven froze, her heart stopping, her breath hitching in her chest. She stumbled back a little, bumping into Murphy, who placed his hands on her trembling shoulders to offer stability. “I’m so sorry.” Clarke stuttered, voice low and wrecked.

Raven shook her head. “No.” Then again, harder. “No!” She ran her hands through her soot covered hair, waved her head around furiously. “What happened?” She asked, smashing the bawls of her hands into her eyes, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from screaming. Clarke was silent, trying to gather herself. _“What the fuck happened, Clarke?!”_ Raven lashed out, throwing her arms to her sides. Murphy tried to soothe her, but she yanked herself out of his arms and sidestepped away from him.

Her blonde friend jumped at the sudden outburst, took a deep breath and explained, “She’d been buried under the rubble for awhile. A piece of metal pierced her lung. We did everything we could…”

Raven stopped listening after that.

_We did everything we could. We’re so sorry for your loss._

She knew the routine; she’d had to say it to families before. But Octavia wasn’t a routine; she was Clarke’s best friend. And Raven wasn’t a routine; she was Clarke’s sister.

“I want to see her.” Raven stated, cutting Clarke off from whatever it was that she was saying. The pale woman just nodded. Raven opened the double doors, walked through them before anyone could volunteer to go with her.

Clarke led her to the OR, where she let her walk in by herself and told her that she would be waiting just outside if she needed her. Raven would need her later, but right now she had to see her girlfriend alone.

They’d covered her up with a thin white blanket, left the white light shining down on her like a halo. Raven took a deep breath, hesitated a heartbeat, took another deep breath, then made herself pull up a rolling chair beside Octavia’s body and sat down. She lifted her mud caked hands to the blanket, put them down, lifted them up, put them down, lifted them up, left them hovering, opening and closing her fists. She closed her eyes, inhaled, exhaled, then gently pulled the blanket back from her girlfriend’s face and shut her eyes, screamed behind her clamped lips.

Raven opened her eyes, let the waterfall drench her face. Her tan skin was pale, her rosy lips blue, the skin around her eyes purple. But even still, she looked peaceful, as if she was asleep rather than…

“I’m sorry.” Raven cried softly, making no effort to swipe away the tears that were falling on Octavia’s face or hair. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I love you.” She smoothed out her brown locks, tried to not flinch when she felt her cool skin. She reached under the blanket and took out her hand, clasped it between her own and brought it to her lips, kissing it several times. “I’m so, so sorry, baby.” She began rocking back and forth, keeping her sobs quiet so that Clarke or anyone else wouldn’t come rushing in. She didn’t need an audience right now; she just needed Octavia.

She turned her girlfriend’s hand in her own, traced the blue violet tattoo that decorated the underside of her wrist, then traced the one on her own. They’d gotten them when they were in high school, a promise that they would always be together.

Now that was impossible.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” Raven whispered over and over again as she lay her head down on Octavia’s hard chest, half hoping that she would feel the hint of a heartbeat but knowing that it would never come.

_It happened so fast._

_It just happened so fast._

_None of this was supposed to happen._

_None of this was supposed to fucking happen._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually disappointed in this one a little... I think I'm lacking in the tragedy lately. Like, this just wasn't sad enough... Damn it, there's always next time.
> 
>  
> 
> ~~or who knows, maybe this was tragic enough and i'm just immune to it idk~~


End file.
